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By Kevin Naff As the pope demonizes gay relationships, some local parishes are clearly not getting the message that gays are not wanted. |
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________________ THE CATHOLIC CHURCH is mired in an identity crisis. Pope John Paul II, sounding more and more like an out-of-touch curmudgeon clinging to by-gone days of 1950s-style morality, again this week intoned against tampering with the “irreplaceable” institution of marriage. Meanwhile, as Catholic bishops met last week in Washington, D.C., there were signs that not all bishops are towing the Vatican line against gay relationships. As gay protesters descended upon the Conference of Catholic Bishops, at least two bishops — including auxiliary Bishop Thomas Gumbleton of Detroit — greeted demonstrators, while others merely glanced away and walked by quietly. Word of the pope’s staunch opposition to gay rights initiatives, and same-sex marriage in particular, is clearly not trickling down to all of the church’s local pastors. Just three months ago, my sister was married in a Catholic church in Baltimore. Fearing Old Testament-style tirades against gays and warnings to my sister that she obey her husband, I visited the church for a Sunday morning Mass prior to wedding day. My fears about the church couldn’t have been more offbase. Upon arriving at the church, I was greeted enthusiastically by a rather effeminate priest. Granted, it’s a stereotype, but I’ve run into enough closeted priests at Central Station and the Hippo to know that all these guys aren’t exactly adhering to their celibacy vows. I read a copy of the church bulletin while waiting for mass to begin and was surprised to see an ad publicizing a meeting of the church’s gay and lesbian ministry. It was then that I started noticing all the gay and lesbian faces in the half-empty pews. This beautiful, historic church with 100-year-old stained glass windows, mosaic tile floors, marble-covered walls and sturdy mahogany pews offers just one Mass each Sunday. And the church was half empty. “White flight” has depleted this church of its congregants and it seems the only worshippers left are a few hardy old-timers along with pioneering gay men and lesbians who are buying up and restoring properties in the old neighborhood. To their credit, officials at this church, which I won’t name so as to spare its priests certain ex-communication, are openly welcoming gay worshipers. During my visit just before Fat Tuesday this year, the priest and deacon even wore Mardi Gras beads during the service. The priest urged everyone to “party hearty, because after Tuesday, it’s all over!” Was this a Catholic Mass or a circuit party? A FEW WEEKS later, my sister received a letter from the parish explaining that the church welcomes everyone, including gays. The letter added that the local parish does not agree with the Vatican’s denouncement of gay relationships and gay rights initiatives. Mixed messages indeed. As the wedding approached, I met the priest who would marry my sister. He had been alerted that the bride’s brother is gay, has a partner, and would be serving as a groomsman. After being introduced to me at the rehearsal, the burly priest with a booming voice wrapped me up in a warm embrace, assuring me that this is the most gay-friendly church in Baltimore. Since the Catholic Church is not a democracy, it is unclear how this struggling little inner-city church can get away with its gay outreach, other than by flying below the radar. Surely, no bishop or other official in the church hierarchy saw that letter or knew of this church’s status as “gay friendly.” THE PROBLEMS OF repression in the church go beyond the failure of church leaders to cope responsibly with the sex abuse scandal. That same culture of fear, silence and denial that enabled pedophile priests to shift around from parish to parish is restricting the ability of local pastors, priests and deacons to deal honestly and fairly with the question of how to welcome gay worshipers. Individual priests know who their gay parishioners are — they are active in their churches, donate time and money and, in some instances, even operate outreach programs to other gays in the community. But the Vatican, and this narrow-minded, misguided pope in particular, are preventing the full acceptance and open, honest participation in the life of the church by gay Catholics. If only more Catholic officials would acknowledge publicly what they privately know to be true: that gay and lesbian parishioners are already playing vital roles in their churches and deserve to be recognized instead of demonized. The church has seen what happens when its leaders keep quiet and choose secrecy over honesty. If they have learned anything from the sex abuse scandal, it should be the need for more openness and honesty in church life. It’s time for all those pro-gay priests who whisper words of quiet support for their gay parishioners to stand up for the full, proper inclusion of gays in church life. As Christmas approaches, there could be no better gift for gay Catholics.
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Copyright © 2004 by The Washington Blade. Used with permission. |
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