My Rainbow Sash Experience

By Michael J. Bayly

May 18, 2005

My experience as part of the Rainbow Sash action at the Cathedral of St. Paul on Pentecost Sunday was actually quite a positive one.  I felt totally in communion with those around me and with God – even though the priest presiding at the mass, the Rev. Michael Skluzacek, denied eucharist to all who were wearing the sash – myself included.

My friend Eduard and I arrived a half-hour before mass started.  We joined the other Rainbow Sashers at the cathedral’s side entrance and donned our sashes in the late morning sunshine. I was interviewed by KARE 11 News and by a reporter from the Pioneer Press. I was also inundated with thanks and congratulations from friends who had read the commentary I had written and which the Star Tribune had published the day before. My piece had clearly resonated with many and I felt honored to have been in some small way a voice for so many Catholic GLBT people, their families and their loved ones.

To the sound of voices singing “We Shall Overcome,” Eduard and I entered the cathedral and sat toward the front with my friend Kathleen.  The cathedral of St. Paul really is a beautiful building – though the acoustics are not the best.  All around us were people in Rainbow Sashes – well over 100. It was the largest Rainbow Sash event ever, according to Brian McNeill, the coordinator of the Rainbow Sash Alliance and president of Dignity/Twin Cities.

The mass began and I found myself amazed at how the readings and hymns supported both why we had gathered at the cathedral on this day celebrating the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit in our midst, and why we were wearing the Rainbow Sash – the symbol of celebration of our God-given sexuality.

One hymn had the following words: “Joined together as one body, knit together, we are one.  We the church, God’s chosen body . . . joined together by the Spirit, every person brings a gift.  Every life is full of merit . . . Joined together, all-embracing, yet our separate selves we bring; on our hearts our God is tracing words of love that make us sing.”

When communion time came, Fr. Skluzacek reiterated the archbishop’s request that those wearing the Rainbow Sash remove them before receiving communion “as a sign of reverence for the Lord and a desire for unity.”  I found myself wondering how wearing a multi-colored sash could possibly threaten either ‘the Lord’ or Christian unity.  The hierarchy’s decision to deny communion as a way of protesting and punishing those it disagreed with seemed much more disrespectful and divisive.

Fr. Skluzacek continued his pre-communion warning – noting that if anyone did attempt to receive communion wearing the sash, they would not receive the eucharistic host but just a blessing.  No one around me made a move to remove their sash.

When it was my turn to approach Fr. Skluzacek, I did so and received his blessing.  I then looked him in the eyes and said, “I realize the situation you’re in, and I forgive you.” I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he was simply following orders.  Perhaps if it were up to him he would give communion to all of us. Perhaps he lacked the courage to follow his conscience and defy such orders.

Interestingly, I think many wearing the sash made some comment to the Eucharistic minister whom they approached to receive communion.  My friend Mary, for instance, took the hand raised in blessing of one minister and said, “Shame on you!”  Later she told me how appalled she was that they would consider their blessing a substitute for what they were denying. “It was so incredibly pompous!” she said.

In retrospect, it was quite amazing: Over a hundred people speaking from that holiest of places, their conscience, and making their feelings and beliefs known to the hierarchy at the most sacred time of the mass.  How appropriate for Pentecost! And how unprecedented! Have the members of the church hierarchy ever before experienced such a loving yet firm challenge? Who could have foretold that the banning of communion to Rainbow Sash wearers would initiate such an outpouring of the Spirit!  Such confounding paradox, various spiritual traditions contend, is often a sign of the presence and action of God.

Such thoughts, however, were to come to me later.  For the moment, I found myself returning to my seat having been denied communion – at least by a priest. But as it turned out, I was to receive communion that morning. Back in our pew, Eduard gently touched my arm. Turning, I saw that he was reverently holding half a host in his hand.  He broke it and gave a portion of it to me.  I in turn broke my piece and gave half to my friend Kathleen.

Later I discovered that someone without a sash had shared the host they had received with Eduard – who was wearing a sash. What this person (and apparently other non-sash wearers) did seems to me to be what communion is all about.  I found this loving and sharing action very inspiring and hopeful. It would be something Jesus would do – and did do through the actions of these people. Here were “ordinary Catholics” taking to heart Christ’s call to be a “priestly people.” I later heard that other non-sash wearers refused to receive communion as a way of standing in loving solidarity with those who were wearing the Rainbow Sash.

At the end of the mass a group of Rainbow Sash wearers left their pews and tagged onto the end of the recessional as it made its way to the back of the church. Usually this recessional is comprised of ordained ministers and other “official” folks.  It brought a smile to my face to see GLBT people, their parents, and loved ones – all adorned in the Rainbow Sash – taking the initiative and proclaiming their own unique authority and leadership within the church.

As my friends and I were leaving the cathedral, various people – ushers and parishioners – thanked us and offered words of encouragement.  This too felt nurturing and empowering.

In short, I feel renewed and reenergized as a result of my participation in Pentecost Sunday’s Rainbow Sash action and thank those of you who were present at the cathedral and all who offered your prayers of love and support to me and all who wore the Rainbow Sash.

Peace,

Michael